How to network when single

When you first walk into a room full of people you’ve never met, it can be somewhat daunting. However, it needn’t be. Walk in with confidence; even if you don’t feel it particularly, it’s amazing how much difference it will make acting like you do!

When people arrive at an event, almost everyone’s first action will be to get a drink – and this is perfectly acceptable; the bar is a great place to begin networking after all and a good base for scouting the talent. Whilst waiting to place your order, rather than staring at the bar person in anticipation, take the opportunity to scan the room, see if anyone takes your fancy, who looks approachable, who looks avoidable!

Once you have your drink, don’t delay! It’s best to get stuck straight into the mingling – the longer you leave it, the harder the first approach will be!

If there is no-one at the bar available to talk to, move away; the easiest target is going to be someone sat or stood on their own; you will feel far less intimidated and they will feel massive relief. As you approach, do so with the same confidence you walked in with, don’t hesitate just go for it! A good opening line is always one that is natural – just introduce yourself: “Hi, my name is Kerry, how are you?” you may choose to shake their hand but this formality isn’t always necessary, if you normally would then do, but if you are not used to the gesture don’t bother – it’s always best to just be yourself.

Tip: Do not stand too close; it can be overbearing and uncomfortable for the recipient; I recommend one arms length as a good start.

Try to avoid questions which get more than a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ such as “have you been here before?”. Try questions such as “how are you finding the evening?” and “what would you be doing tonight if you weren’t here?” which will get a more lengthy answer. And always show an interest in what they are saying – this isn’t difficult, simply look at them when they are speaking – and try to look at their eyes! There is nothing worse for a woman than talking to a man who sneaks glances at her breasts – trust me she will notice!

Tip: don’t stay with the same person for too long; even if you are having a really good time, they might not be! Besides, there will be plenty of people wanting to talk to you…

Knowing when to move on can be a difficulty – if the conversation stops for a couple of minutes, seize the opportunity to depart. Best-enders are: “it’s been really nice talking to you” or “I guess I should let you mingle”. If the person you are conversing with doesn’t appear to be stopping for breath, try introducing someone else into the conversation; there may be someone nearby waiting to be approached; this will freshen the atmosphere and give you the prime opportunity to leave if you wish, without deserting the person you first approached.

If you’ve enjoyed the company, suggest a drink or a catch up later. Don’t try and exchange details after the first meeting, this can be done at the end when you’ve had chance to speak with other people in the room: It isn’t going to do very much for their confidence if you take his or her phone number and are seen to be doing the same with someone else later on in the evening.

When you leave, try to say his or her name as you part; this will help you remember it, should you wish to speak again later and crucial if you plan on asking for their telephone number!

To summarise:

• Be confident! Keep your head up and smile
• Don’t hesitate; everyone is there for the same reason; to meet new people so why wait?
• Always be yourself
• Don’t stand too close – people like their own personal space!
• Don’t look around the room when someone is talking – try to maintain eye contact
• If you plan on asking for a phone number, do so after the first initial meeting and try to remember their name!
• Don’t hang around too long; you’ll get much more out of the networking experience if you actually network!

Networking isn’t difficult, it’s just talking. Everyone there is hoping to meet new people so don’t deprive them!